too much to think about

I need to go to bed and go right to sleep because I have to be at the house I babysit by seven.

I'm not ready for this. Although, I did it practically everyday last year. But last year was different. I wanted to get away from Dad. I had to go and babysit just to have food. Dad was not really worried if we had any food or not. All he needed was beer, but usually, that meant hanging out with his pals at the bar.

But I don't want to go there. That was last year. This is this year.

And, and this is the stupidest thing to admit, but Kenny makes me happy.

Yeah, it kind of scares me, even.

He's sweet. He's just em, something, quite orginal.

I just don't want to tell any of my friends we're going out. They'd think I'm a loser. I know they would. Especially, Camille. Camille would say all sorts of shit I wouldn't want to hear. Like, "Didn't you know he was gay." Also, he's younger than me. Well, just a year. But you know how people can be. Especially, when they only want you around to tell you who to date.

The library book mystery. Still have not found that book. Went back with Jonah (who was a pain just to get away from his computer) to that abandoned house, and we didn't find it. I know I'll have to pay for it.

Better shut up, get to bed and start babysitting.