some mother's day

I'm alone now. Its been crazy today. First thing this morning I had to run out with Jonah to all these stops to make sure he got his Mom something for Mother's day. We were going to go to Wal-Mart but ended up in Michael's. He got her some stuff on the dollar isle and a gift card. He didn't have much to spend.

At least I didn't have time to dwell about this thing on me. The hickey. It looks so bad. I just stare in the mirror wanting to cry when I look at it (all purplish) and end up laughing. What is wrong with me?

Then it doesn't help that Sam shows up, like nothing ever happened. And he spends the afternoon watching Ninja Warriors in the livingroom. I wanted him as far from my neck as possible. And he ends up drawing on my ankle with a black sharpee pen. Cool skull and tiny little heart next to it.

I can't describe exactly what I'm feeling right now. Physically ill. Maybe.

I couldn't eat. We went out to China Buffet. I got all this food on my plate and then I couldn't eat it.

Sam is going to hate me. He is. I know it. I should have never gone out with Josh.