Selasa, 30 November 2010

Are you with me (Jasper Hale fan fic) by Ivy Parker

What if Jasper had met Bella first?


Oh Alice, you wicked little thing. It was on Jasper Hale's breath as he walked away from her. "I'm tired of this." He breathed under his breath.

She was a control freak as far as he was concerned. And he hated to argue with her or she just might say he was freaking out. Then the injections would come, and he'd go numb. He shook his head. He just needed to be away from her. He was not her child. It was all beginning to wear him down. Didn't he know why he'd stuck around so long? She had a pretty face and he'd missed valentines and the like over the centuries. He thought she'd do the trick. But maybe he was just trying to trick her all along. It was enough to make him want to scream. Maybe go in a rage. But, she had to see, he had some control. He did. She just needed a little faith in him. Yes, faith.

But it was fate that brought them there by the tree in the fork in the road. There she was. Kind of angst and definitely feeling sorry for herself.

"You..you..." Jasper squinted hard, trying to think what to say before he sounded like a backwater idiot who might sound like a zombie. "You're on the cross country team, right?"

"Cross country team?" She winced back. "I'm not very athletic."

"I see." He introduced himself then as Jas. She barely said she was Bella. But he smiled as if maybe it might compel  her, and it did. He bit the very edge of his bottom lip. He smiled more. "Walking is just as good."

"Yeah, its really beautiful here, when its not raining." She shrugged. They walked together then.

"Jas, are you on the cross country team?" Bella asked after awhile when the quiet was just too much and nature was not helping either of them.

"Yes." He said as if that would be the thing to say. He listened for Alice. Maybe she knew this was going to happen, or maybe he messed up what was going to happen. He slightly grinned. All those special powers she talked of ..of the others. What a load shit, he thought. Perhaps he was a bit self centered now, but she'd vexed him. It was time to get on with his life, not some toy Alice left on the shelf half the time. He had needs, too.

"Why are you smiling?" She couldn't help but smile back as if she was impressed with what she saw in him.

"I want to be on the team." He admitted. "But, well, the family I'm staying with, think I'm not ready. I'm amazed I even get to school."

She shot a look at him as if maybe he should go to the police or something about the matter. He didn't want her thinking he'd been kidnapped. But maybe. Slightly.

"They mean well." He was a bit sleepy about it. "I mean, well, you see, Alice found me that one time, when, she ran away. And then she was all, oh, I can't live without him, blah..blah..blah..." His grin was kind of devilish then as if he might be up to no good, and he could slip into his old ways. "And they let me stay."

"But what happened?" Bella seemed concerned.

"God, what didn't happen?" He chuckled, giving way his impish glare. "We had this spread in a Goth magazine, but they didn't think I was quite goth enough because of the blond hair. So they dyed it black, but it turned red. And we didn't get any money out of it, for her college fund. They say I'm not model material." He shook his head as if he could care less. After all, he was just an old cowboy at heart.

"Um, I dunno, Jas. I'd buy a magazine with your picture in it." She shrugged as if he should know. Jasper sighed. The more she used his name..he knew it was working.  The compellsion Oh, it was working like a charm.

"Really?" Jasper winced then. "Well, anyway, I don't even care about college." Honestly, there was one thing on his mind at the moment and it was right here. The desire to be with Bella.

She smelled like lilacs of summer. It was a sleepy, but a tantalizing feeling. He'd never been quite this warm in a long time. It was rather intoxicating.

They walked down the dirt road, past the fields as the thickets were turning darker. He took her hand. Perhaps it would help. Something thoughtful like that. Yes, thoughtful. He had to be thoughtful. Perhaps his many charms would find her to turn this, his way. She was a cold one to warm up. But if he could conjure up a bit of old magic and nostalgia of what she might be missing in this world. So be it.

"Could I ask a favor?" He hesitated. It had been a long time since he'd used any southern charm. Maybe he was losing it. Maybe Alice had taken it away. "Could I come home with you?" He stared at her deeply then and willed it.

Just like a fast forward moment. ..Bella invited him in to her home. Jasper, could hardly stand it. This was amazing. He didn't think that sort of power existed. And he had it all along, but Alice kept telling him to never use it. Never. Just like he'd never be her lover, either.

No, it was an intellectual game she was after, when it came to Alice. It was lingo like, "I challenge you to a dual of the mind. Can you tell me the fifty states, backwards." Which left him feeling his brain had gone gooey, and it was impossible to know the answers. He never wanted to spell another word backwards in his life.

No, this..this was much more delectable.

"Thank you." He whispered in Bella's ear. "You'll never know I'm here." So many places he could fade into. The dark pantry for starters. The wallpaper even. Oh, the attic. They could make plans in the attic. He'd found his room, already. Yes, he had it. He was not a newbie at this. He could control it beautifully. No blood yet.

As if this could make him high, already. Not really. He was not a fool. He just had to be a wolf of some sort waiting for little Red Ridinghood. Speaking of that, there was that silly boy toy Jake to worry about.

"You hate him." His little whispers invaded her memories soon enough. She could be reading government or history, but he knew he had to be on her mind. "You know, you only want me." It was quite devilish. When he was alone, he was filled with a sweet pleasure to manipulate what he wanted. "What ever you do...don't let Alice in."

As it was, it was like cat and mouse with Alice. Was it that he was purely evil? No, she never said it, but he could feel it in her restlessness when he was around her. He was her science experiment. So petty, he now thought as he had the pleasure of his own company, and a watchfulness over Bella.

Yes, it was true, he purely needed a companion. And Bella was it because he did know her smile. He did know her wants and it was a delightful notion that he was in her home now.

"See, isn't it brilliant?" He spoke in a British accent. It was funny to him, too. He didn't know he had one. So long forgotten as he peered at Bella in her bed. His finger traced down her shoulder to where something magical might begin. Oh, just a little nibble here. And there. Possibly, like getting under her skin. They'd be one... in no time.

Sure, he'd had his fun in taverns, bars and other drinking establishments with barmaids, show girls and other rowdy bunches. But this was sublime. A slow kill, perhaps. Yet, he couldn't call it that. No. No he couldn't. It would be a new beginning.

"I want you to eat something amazing. Like cheese cake with cherries. Oh, and don't forget the best rib-eye you can find, my love." He could taste it on his tongue, already. Sort of a farewell. Definitely something to savor. He did have to watch that girlish figure of his.

Well, he'd will it. It would be done. There was no stopping him now. His cold heart was growing stronger. It was a beautiful thing. Starve her with his love, and then feast upon it.

"Are you with me, Bella?" His smile grew more of mischief. All she needed was a black bow for her hair. Oh, it was coming. "Are you with me, Bella?" Really, there was no need to answer. She was his puppet now.

more at A Jasper Hale Fan Fic

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No more pumping.


I'm done breastfeeding. Well, not so much breastfeeding. I'm done pumping! You may have read my bit of whining here on this post here: to pump or not to pump... but, if you haven't: Ruari never breastfed. I felt guilty and have been pumping for close to a year now.

Yesterday I decided it's time to stop. I will begin the process of stopping my supply. I can only imagine it will be pretty darn uncomfortable... if I'm even a little late for one of my scheduled pumps: ouch! SOooooo... here goes! I guess I'll just try to pump a little less each time... then knock off one of my pumps. It will take a few weeks.

I know I will be SO SO much happier. I just need to put the guilt behind me. She's eating more "real" food and formula's not bad. No longer will I have to say, "Oh, yeah! I'll be head right over... oh wait... I have to go home and pump first!" ... "No, I can't stay past 9. I have to go home and pump." Blah blah blah. It will be lovely.

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Senin, 29 November 2010

I Heart Faces: Scenic Black and White


Mike and Ruari walking through the snow on Thanksgiving day.
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Hey all! Don't forget to enter your photo/card into the my Holiday Card/Photo Challenge! The last day to enter is Friday!!!

The Paper Mama


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If you think my blog is neat. :D
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My holiday in photos.

Driving to Washington on Tuesday...



We arrive to our destination to find leftover snow on the ground!


AND, to my VERY excited eyes... we wake up on Thanksgiving day to snow falling! I LOVE snow. Ruari has never been in snow. It DID snow last year on December 29th... But, Ruari was about 10 days old and had no idea what was going on. Snow sort of made everything a pain that day.... 4 hours to go a couple miles. Mike got home from work after driving 6 hours.

Ruari really wasn't too impressed with the snow... mostly just annoyed with the 50 layers we put on her! Do you like her jacket? I LOVE it. I found it at a little thrift shop by my house for $5. 







For Thanksgiving dinner... Ruari tried turkey for the first time ever! Her first taste of meat. She really likes it (Ummm.... I'm not too sure I'm liking how horrible it makes her poo though!). Look at her cute outfit!



She wasn't too sure about the Turkey at first....


BUT, she quickly decided it was awesome!


Mike and I like to wander the malls on Black Friday. Not so much on the shopping part... more on the people watching part! This was Ruari's first year joining us!


Yeah... of course we had to stop for cupcakes! Man, I need to start working out.






Then... Mike and I got to go out for a couple of hours while his parents watched our screaming sweet baby.



That's ALL folks! I really hope you all had a lovely weekend as well!



I'm linking my manic weekend up with Manic Monday
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A couple deals for you for this Cyber Monday only!!!:

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  • Tiny Prints: 10% off $99; 15% off $149; 20% off $199. Code: CYBERMON


And, if you all have a moment... can I get a vote? 
If you think my blog is neat. :D
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AND AND AND.... the Holiday Photo/Card challenge ENDS this Friday! It's your last day to enter! TONS of wonderful sponsors have donated their goodies for you to win! Enter here:

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